December 17, 2012

I had an idea for a post.

I'll try to rememe...oh wait, I remember.

First, this is my 94th post. I'm going to try to hit 100 by New Years Eve. It shouldn't be too hard. This is a busy time of year, plenty to talk about.

Alright, well, to catch up.

My time at the Cafe has been amazing. I love it. Unfortunately, it's coming to an end soon. I'm actually legitimately disheartened by this. It's not for any bad reason, but when I proposed the idea, I think I came across as wanting to get a little bit of experience so that I could find a job, or know how to get my own business off the ground.

Well, this is true to a point, but I really just want to make coffee for people. If I have to make it for free, then I'm okay with that. Anyway, this past Thursday, when I was getting ready to leave, Mohammad was talking to me and saying that he thinks I'm doing really well, and I'll probably need two or three more days and I can move on.

I'm kind of hoping that what feels like a sudden dismissal isn't because it's "come out" (for lack of a better phrase,) that I'm an inexperienced, floundering Bible college graduate who's dad is the Prison Chaplain. I'm 90% sure that I'm just being paranoid, but I am 10% sure that I may be onto something.

I know that I haven't done anything to push my beliefs around, so..I'm just paranoid. Oh well.

Anyway, more proof that I'm paranoid, it didn't all end badly. He told me that he wants to extend the store hours sometime soon, and after he builds up the shift a little bit, he'd give me a call.

However, he might just be making me feel better >_> I'M SO PARANOID. I need to stop. The Lord brought me to this point, and it all happened the way that it has for a reason. Things will work out the way that they're supposed to, I just can't let my insecurity and fear screw me up.

But I really love being at the Cafe. I love it so much. I'm sad about being done, even though I'm not done yet. I've gotten to chat with some of the other guys that work there, and it's been nice. Each of them, John and Nouredeen, kind of did that same thing I'm doing. John was studying business management, and came to the cafe to do an internship kind of thing so that he could open his own business, and the manager at the time was looking to hire, so he ended up getting a job there. That was about four years ago, I think. Nouredeen, Mohammad's brother, was in Morocco before coming here, and for a week before he left, he went to a restraunt to train in the indsutry, as it were.

So, I guess since I have no idea what to do with myself after this, I feel kind of like I've been tossed out into the ocean of the world and though left with some good advice (John said that NECC has a good business program, which is good to know,) I'm just a girl who doesn't know what going on! And I'm poor!

*deep breath* I'm okay. I'm way too dramatic, and too easily excited, whether in a good way or a bad way. It'll be fine. I still have a few days. Anything could happen.

Moving on! It's a week until Christmas! We've already had one Christmas outreach, at the Middleton facility, and it was great! So many guys came out, and nothing went wrong. Even the Officers that were there were amazed. We were all walking out just laughing and having a great time.

We had more than enough bags, which is great because we can give them to guys at halfway houses and discipleship groups and stuff.

This week is busy. Getting ready for the Christmas Eve service at the FARM. All kinds of stuff going on. I have to make some Christmas gifts. I don't even have gifts for some people. It kind of stinks. I either have no idea what to get them, or I'm too poor to get them anything.

Next Christmas. I always feel bad at Christmas time. I know it's not about gifts, really, but I love giving gifts, and I always feel bad when I come up with a lot of ideas for one person, and the other person almost nothing. And I get gifts.

CHRISTMAS IS UNFAIR. MERRR. I need to collaborate with my mom. And also $1000.

Anyway, 100 posts before 2013! Yes. (This is really just me being OCD.)


  1. Replies
    1. :) I wish I could like your comment about wanting to like my post.