December 29, 2012


I grew up in a Christian home. When you grow up in a Christian home, the tendency is to believe what you're told about Jesus, God, the Devil, Heaven, Hell, etc. You know it in your head, and you believe it because there's really no reason not to.

For me, I didn't realize that I was just "knowing" these things until I went to Bible college. I remember in my first year suddenly having a deep understanding of God's omniscience. It was literally radical. I was SO excited about it. I was like, "OH EM GEE GOD KNOWS LITERALLY EVERYTHING FROM THE LITERALLY BEGINNING TIL THE VERY END OH EM GEE."

Something like that. Then, in my second year, like I shared in a previous post, I had a life-changing understanding of God's love.

I don't remember what God taught me in my third year. I'm sure it was great. Probably trust or something.

Anyway, all my life, I've known about Heaven. It's where the Believer goes when he/she dies. The streets are paved with gold, we become like Christ, and there's no crying or sickness. Awesome. Sounds good to me.

I never really understood it beyond that. I never got really excited about going to just...was the inevitable end for me. No big deal, really. Friends would be like, "I just want to go to heaven because life is so terrible." I'd be like, "But it's life...why want to shut down now? You'll get through it. I mean, I know heaven is great, but...I dunno."

My Grandma is sick. The reality is that she's more likely than not, going to pass away.

I'm okay with that. Not because of how hard taking care of her has been at times. Not because I'm secretly evil and hate old people. But because I believe in heaven.

Only now, I understand Heaven in a very different way. It happened gradually, my understanding. However, watching my Grandma's like unfold the way that it has, being so intimately connected to it helps me see.

It's not JUST that there is no sickness or pain in heaven. It's not JUST walking on streets of gold.

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, (just imagining it now brings me to tears because it's so incredible, and TRUE) she will be able to walk. With straight legs. For all my life, my Grandma has walked with a cane. She's had a crooked leg. Her knee is out of joint. When I came home from college, she went from sometimes using a cane or a walker, to always using a walker. The fact that she was able to do any walking period was a miracle. She's broken a hip, AND bones in both of her legs.

My Grandma will be able to WALK on the streets of gold. With JESUS. He won't have to hold her up because she'll be perfectly capable of supporting herself. She won't have a disconnected knee. Her knee won't be bulging out. It's going to be perfect. 

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she'll be able to remember everything she has ever forgotten. Everything that old age, dementia, and strokes have wiped from her mind will be restored. Everything that frustrated her because she couldn't remember will no longer frustrate her. She will have a clear mind.

She'll be able to speak perfectly clear. She won't mix up words. She won't speak gibberish. She'll be able to speak clearly. With JESUS. When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she's going to have REAL LIFE conversations with God! It won't be a matter of praying with faith that He hears, she'll KNOW because she's going to SEE HIM FACE TO FACE.

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she's going to be reunited with all the people that's she been missing for so long. Family, friends, my grandpa. She's going to see them all. And she's going to rejoice with them. She's going to be able to sing, and dance. DANCE. 

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she won't complain about her hand being numb because it's not going to BE numb. She'll be able to write (I don't know what you'd write in Heaven, but she can do it if she wanted to!)

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she's going to be in the presence of God. FOREVER. She's going to STAND before His throne and praise Him. She's going to be completely unhindered by illness, and fatigue, and pain.

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she's not going to be in pain. Pain will be distant memory. She will never feel pain again.

Knowing all of this in my head...and then seeing it for my Grandma. I SEE it for her. I'm so excited for her. I can't WAIT for her to be able to be with JESUS. The Man who died for HER will be there to welcome her with open arms. And she will run to Him, and be able to thank Him the way she always wished she could.

She will be with Jesus. For real. His presence won't be something she has to accept by faith. Her faith will be rewarded with sight.

When my Grandma goes to Heaven, she'll be told, by God Himself, that she was a FAITHFUL servant. She'll be able to see how many hundreds of lives she touched. People she maybe never met. She'll be given her crown, full of precious jewels. She will be honored by all of Heaven as she walks in.

She will welcomed into a place that we can only dream of, here on earth. But she will BE there. And she's going to love it. And she'll be in eternal peace. She will have eternal rest.

I love that she gets to go to heaven. I love that when she takes her last breath, she doesn't have to wait. She'll be there. Instantly. 

It's going to be amazing. It blows my mind every time I think about it. In the end, she wins.


  1. I absolutely love this. My mom (95 in just 12 days) lives with us. I often sit just watching her and wondering when He will call and everything that you described will transpire and she will experience Heaven. It is her hearts desire, her daily prayer is "Thank you Lord for another day, but I am ready to come home should you call." Thanks for sharing your heart. Wonderful.

  2. Beautifully said, and it is the truth that comforts me and gives me room for joy.