November 27, 2014

Granted Gratitude.

2014 has been, honestly, a jam-packed year. So many things have happened that have been little dreams of mine that came true. I've been so abundantly blessed, that I have slipped into a rut of taking it all for granted. Being ungrateful makes us terrible people, inherently, and I repent.

I have established so many friendships, mostly from work. I'm surrounded daily by people that I love, and care about. I love to love and care about people, and I'm thankful that I can do that.

I got Vincent this year! The sweetest, most wonderful orange kitty that you can hear purring from across the room, who sleeps on my face.

I became a level one certified Barista with the Specialty Coffee Association of America - and I almost didn't pass, but it was a grading fluke!

I flew to Colorado and spent ten amazing days in the most beautiful place in America.

I went on my first date.

I had a positive, and romantically inclined relationship - it ended poorly, but that's because 24-year-old men are freaked out by women who have standards. Whatever, Ben. **Note to all single men reading this: Don't talk about deal breakers with a girl, and then just stop texting her, never to be heard from again. At least wish her a happy life, and say "this has been fun," or something. It's tacky to fall off the face of the earth because a girl doesn't drink alcohol.

I got to see two of my favorite books as plays, and they were beautiful, and I was weeping by the end of both of them, which is all I wanted.

I got to see my favorite band perform for the last time.

I got to spend a month and a half experiencing a life of independence, and it was fantastic.

I started taking pottery again, and it's amazing.

Thanks to my mother, I'm well into the process of going back to school.

I've learned a lot about who I am this year. I've accepted myself, and it's liberating.

I'm very thankful for everything that I have, and for the people that I have the privilege to know. I know some amazing people. They span all spectrums of life, religious beliefs, and interests. They're amazing. They've all added to my life in ways that I can't begin to express.

I need to live a more thankful life. There's so much.

November 14, 2014

Where Hannah stands in the world of feminism, and general equality.

I don't claim to know everything about the history of feminism. I claim to know very little. I don't know what kind of things have been done, good or bad, in the name of feminism, however, I have considered myself a feminist for a few years. Or rather, "a mild feminist."

Over the past few months, I've done a lot of really empowering things. Most of them concerned work, and standing up for what I believed what right. The day that I had a phone call with two male superiors is when I realized that there IS such a thing as the "patriarchy," and I am no fool. In this phone call, I was ganged up on, and cornered by two men in management with my company. I was spoken down to, questions that I asked were ignored, and I was treated like a child.

I don't like being patronized. I especially hate being patronized by men. I've never been okay with it, and yes - specifically men.

I've been doing a LOT of thinking, sometimes a little at a time, sometimes a lot at a time..about where I fit into this big concept of "equality."

I think that people - men, women, black, white, gay, and straight - should be treated equally. Working for Starbucks, I have seen inequality be a detriment to my team.

There came a point last last year, where I realized that I didn't just find men attractive. I objectified them. We rant and rail about women being objectified, but there is little being said about how men are treated. I was horrified, when I made this realization. Crushes, celebrity crushes, finding people attractive...not wrong. Objectification - wrong. It doesn't matter the severity of it, or how obvious it is. It's wrong.

Men and women are people. We each are living our lives, and trying to figure everything out. We make good decisions, bad decisions. We say the wrong thing sometimes, sometimes we say the right thing.

When I think of feminism, I think of respect. Men and women need to respect each other as human beings, who are capable of awesome things. Will we succeed? Not always. Is it because a person is a woman? No. It's because that's. We make it, or we don't. It has nothing to do with gender.

The Bible says for women to serve their husbands, and for men to love their wives the way Christ loves the Church. Respect. Service. Love. This is planet earth, and we're all in this together.

ALSO, you people freaking out about women serving their husbands - it says WIVES and HUSBANDS. Not men. Marriage is a working relationship, where the husband and wife have to support each other, and be real with one another.

The Bible doesn't say the women need to serve men. There are titles, and roles involved. Does it say what constitutes service? The Bible says to love one another, and to treat others the way we want to be treated. It doesn't mean that the wife is responsible for making her husband sandwiches. It means that, maybe, if the husband or wife is hungry - their spouse will think, oh, I could make them something to eat because I LOVE THEM, and THEY WOULD DO THE SAME FOR ME.

It's not a fight. We all have to work together.

In the workplace, men and women should have equal pay because they're working. If someone is doing a job that requires more work, they should get paid more. Women have the right to an opinion, and the right to speak their mind BECAUSE THEY HAVE A MIND. Men have the same right. Because each person within each gender has a brain, and if they use it to think about their opinion on things, then they also have a mouth that they are allowed to use to speak it. If you think it's dumb, then bully for you. It has nothing to do with gender. Maybe that person is just stupid. Because...shocker - men and women can both be idiots.

Feminism: Men and women need to respect each other as people.
Equality: We all have the right to think, speak, dance, sing, and yes, even do wrong. However - we all should be held responsible for our actions, or the results of our actions.

It doesn't matter what your gender, race, or sexual orientation is. We all need to be treated equally, AND:

This is a big and. AND we need to STOP calling is bigotry, or sexism, or whatever - when people call us out on our nonsense. On the facts of what we have done. If the facts are wrong, and people are making false accusations, etc - okay, yeah. Otherwise, knock it off. Not everything is a hate crime.

Maybe I'm not a real feminist. But isn't that my decision? Feminism has decided that women should be allowed to want to be housewives, for crying out loud. Talk about moving backwards and forwards at the same time.

As far as being a godly woman, these things still apply to me. However, I also must represent Christ. I have the responsibility of being a godly woman, who must love others the way that Christ has loved me. No matter their gender, race, or orientation. I must treat people the way that Christ would treat them.

Are we all learning? Yes. Are we all gonna do it wrong until it makes sense to us? Yes. And that's okay. Just try to think about it. Respect each other.

November 2, 2014

It's that time again.

When Hannah feels like writing, but isn't sure what she's going to write about.

I suppose what I SHOULD be doing is writing for NaNoWriMo, as it's already the second day of November, and I don't even have a working title.

I started pottery last week, and it was amazing. I honestly don't care if I make nothing but lopsided bowls - working the clay with my hands, and feeling it spin on the wheel is an incredible experience. Seeing it take shape, and get thinner, or thicker, by the slightest pressure. It's amazing, honestly. I love getting my hands dirty.

There's a lot going on this month. Dad is going back to Arizona in a couple days, which means I'll get to be on my own again for a couple weeks - yaaaassss :) I'm glad that both of my parents will be home for Thanksgiving, though. And that mom will get to maybe see the tail end of fall...that weird inbetween where maybe there will snow, and maybe there will still be some pretty colors. I'm seeing a screening of "Of Mice and Men" the Sunday after they get home, which, as far as family time goes, will be a bummer. However, super stoked about it. I'm going to the screening in Portsmouth, and basically, spending the day in Portsmouth, with theatre, is going to be awesome. I'm also seeing Anberlin this month! They're on their final tour.

Well...I had a long paragraph written out, but decided that it would incite too many questions, and am just going to journal instead.

Learning how to keep things to myself. That's something I'm doing these days. All I know is, some things have come up in my life, and I am facing them. I'm trying to face them respectfully, and maturely, and eventually I will face them spiritually. All I know, is that despite the lag in my walk with God these days, I want to live my life based on Him, and living in reverential fear of Him. Not fear of people's opinions of me.