January 16, 2013

Nothing is something, I suppose.

I'm trying to clean up my design a little bit. I decided that the main part of the banner was tooo...eh. I love the quote, so I'm keeping that there. It's hard for me to get int my bog design, because I usually just change it constantly. It'd be nice if I had better skills. That's okay.

So, my life is really pretty dull these days. I have laundry that I am neglecting to put away, because I am a bum. I've been exercising for about an hour 1/2 every day (save yesterday. I took a break.) So, that's good. I've been eating a lot of carrots. Basically just trying to do specific things each day for my health, instead of being so broad-minded about my health plans.

I'm trying to read more, because as you may recall, one of my resolutions is to read all of my books in a year. It's hard! Three weeks in, and I'm hardly to the middle of Wuthering Heights, not to mention all the books I started LAST year that I keep picking up and putting down. It's ridiculous!

My friend Priscilla and I went to a Bible study last week, out in Revere. It was really great, and we had a lot of fun. I've known her for several years, but before this, Priscilla and I really haven't hung out outside of Camp and NBF outreaches, and other various things, but we had a lot of fun. She and I are a lot alike, which is what my mom told me, but you know how I can be. I know it's a god idea to do something, I just never do. Hanging out with Priscilla was one of those things. I'm a loser, I know.

Anyway, it was the first time, in a long time, that I went to something new, with someone who is fairly new to me, and had a genuinely nice experience. I felt comfortable, with the atmosphere, and with myself...I was able to force myself out of my quiet, observant shell and actually participated in bible study discussion, and made conversation with one of the girls there for a long time (at the restaurant, that is. We all went out to eat after the study.) I mean, the fact that I did any of it, and was successfully social is still mind-blowing to me.

That's probably one of my subconscious resolutions - I always get on myself in public situations about how quiet I am. I don't want to be so shut in. So yesterday, at small group, I finally worked out of my shell, and participated in discussion. I felt great for doing it.

What isn't great is my lack of job-getting. I've put in a few applications that I need to follow up on, probably tomorrow, and my mom urged me again tonight to apply at Market Basket :P Meh.

But, if I really want a job, I'll apply, right? Yeah, basically.

I like that I'm seeing myself actually becoming the kind of woman that I want to be. Not completely, but instead of just imagining my future self, I am becoming my future self..in the present.

Even spiritually, which is actually the most challenging. I've been reading the Bible, and some devotionals way more consistently that I have before. It's really good. I've been really honest and up-front with the Lord about where I'm at, and when He said, "Okay, then," to my prayer, I recognized it and didn't shrink away from it. It's hard for sure, but at least it's happening.

So, I'm boring, gradually becoming consistent with my goals, and I guess being productive (except for that dang laundry. I was doing a good job with it, but this week has just been like, "Meh, whatevs, clothes." And I NEVER say "whatevs." EVER.

Finally, a post with a little bit of substance. Sorry for those stupid ones down there. Just felt like blogging, and never had anything good to say.

Well, that's it. Have fun.

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