NON-CONFORMIST.

I've been thinking about my dream to have my own coffee shop.

When I tell people about it, I kind of preface myself with, "I know it's crazy..." but then I've encountered a few things within the past couple days that have made me think otherwise. One of them is this:

This is a man. A man who designs shoes. A man who sincerely believes in the importance of elegant footwear. He has a signature for each pair (they're red on the bottom. I only caught onto this because of Pinterest.)

I mean, who am I to know what beautiful shoes are? I have no clue. But this guy does. At some point, this man said, "Dangit, I'm going to design shoes, and they're going to be bloody fabulous, whether people buy them or not."

And now he's a freaking shoe mogul or something.

And then, there are these men who started a coffee roasting company, Handsome Coffee Roasters.

Under each of their personal stories, there are a series of questions. One of the questions is "Why coffee?" One of the men answer with: "Because I (REALLY) love it."

And so these guys roast and make coffee for a living. Someone had to. They're doing it because they love it, and are committed to making some freaking awesome coffee (well, they say it's that good. I've never had it.)

So, I think to myself, "WHY exactly is it so far off for me to want to have my own business, birthed out of a love for coffee, where my goal is to give people a chance to sit, relax, and enjoy a cup of joe?"

Fact is, it's not. I could probably run it out of my house, if I had to (that is, if I ever had my own place.)

I mean, WHY NOT? Why do I feel like I'm somehow degrading my life's worth by saying, "I love coffee, and my career goal is to make coffee for people."

Who says that I HAVE to "sit in a booth, like a veal"? Why? There is absolutely no logical reason for it. I don't have the education to get me any kind of "well-paying" job, I don't have the experience to get an kind of "normal" job..why? Why do I torment myself?

WHY? Why CAN'T I force myself to wait two weeks and pay off that last $45 to Mt. Zion? Why can't I, after that, sign up for Mass Grants, and get my Associates in Business? Why then, after THAT, can't I just make myself a coffee shop? Somewhere. Anywhere. Make a deal to borrow space from someone? I can totally DO that. If I can get myself a free gym membership in exchange for no more than eight hours of work in an entire week, and KEEP IT for over a year so far, why can't I cut a deal with someone for cafe space? Just start with a coffee pot. Make some different syrups for variety. Use all those gajillion mugs that I have collected, and charge a buck?

WHY CAN'T I JUST DO WHAT I LOVE? *frustrated artist sigh*

So, that's what's on my mind.