October 29, 2012

I think I'm going to be okay.

That's what was going through my head during communion at church last Sunday. I went to visit my friend Ashley last week. I got there Saturday night, and left the following Saturday morning. We went to her church on Saturday, and for the first time in months, I felt like the Lord put me directly where I needed to be, to hear exactly what I need to hear. The message was perfect. 100% on point to my life. And I felt like I truly believed, for the first time, that I'm going to turn out okay. That I'm not a complete Christian fail.

This process rarely starts and finishes immediately, but at least I have hope. I didn't, before. It was really great, because my friend Allix (who missed her bus and came a day late) has been feeling the same way I have, so being able to talk it out with someone who completely understood, in the moment, what it's like...it was relieving. We cried and prayed together, and afterwards, both of us felt different.

Bible college wasn't a complete waste of time.

Anyway, it was a really great week. So much laughing - I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I mean, stumbling around as I walk, tears streaming from my eyes kind of laughter. Making a fool of ourselves in public places kind of laughter. (Seriously, we went out to dinner, and were seated in the midst of like, thirty empty tables. Upon leaving the place, and passing the front window, we saw that that area was full of guests. I'm convinced they heard us cracking up before they seated us and said, "Them girls cray.") That's okay.

We dressed up fancy one night, we stayed in our pajamas the next day, we drove long country roads that were filled with the smell of horse poo, we watched movies, played an obscene amount of Phase 10, and sang along really loud to the radio. We made failed, but tasty, gluten free pizza and brownies (the pizza dough had too much water, and the brownies were short one egg.) Ashley and I pointed out and giggled over any cute man that we saw who didn't wear a wedding ring. We did face masks. We taunted Ashley's dog. We drank a lot of coffee.

It was so great. Now, Allix is stuck there because of the storm. I'm home. I like being home, but I still wish I could be there.

We're so flipping gorgeous.

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