And it's true. The only way for new things to happen is if something changes.
And today, my change was going for a jog. I've never been an athletic person. My parents are a theatre director and a saxophone player. Granted, they both love tennis, but I'm clearly not going to the U.S. Open anytime soon.
My weight has always been a struggle for me. Ha! I could put that in quotes, it's been said so many times by EVERYONE in the world, practically. My last year in college I was very motivated and lost what was, to me, a significant amount of weight. I came home and a girlfriend of mine said, "You're skinny!" I was definitely more confident about how I looked, and all was well. But then...I was home for a while.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't hate living at home. Yeah, it'd be neat to go on my own, but..it's not practical by any stretch of the imagination. Not right now.
Anyway, off topic. The point is, between stress, lack of a structure in my schedule and plain ol' laziness...I gained all of my weight back, and then some. Needless to say, it has been really discouraging at times. Perhaps you're thinking, "But Hannah, what about that free gym membership?" Yeah, well. One, working out is only half the battle. Two, aside from the gym, I'm not very active so with not enough activity plus not enough food discipline....there you go.
What's crazy to me is that I know better. I've read enough magazine articles and done enough Jane Fonda workouts to know what to do. Craziness. Moving on.
In life, I've always wanted to be a runner. At least a jogger. I feel like the words, "I'm going for a run" is a confidence booster all in itself, as well as the run. What held me back? My ego. I have always thought that to be a runner, I should be fit first. So I don't look like a fat loser slowly making her way down the street.
Well, I realized several things:
1) We're in an era of everyone wanting to be healthier. Especially as adults. Plus, I feel like it's less common for adults to judge adults that are chubby and running than with kids...or I was just REALLY insecure as a kid. Probably the latter...
2) Even if I DID wait until I was fit, I'd still be slow because it takes time to build up endurance. I can "run" on an elliptical all I want, but it's not the same. I could definitely tell a difference.
3) No one cares about who I am! Geez, it's such an ego thing, thinking that everyone is watching me and judging me because I'm not a great runner. Wrongo! I'm just a girl running through town. Who cares if I stop after 45 seconds? No one, really.
The Point is: TONIGHT I decided to get over myself and go for a run. And I did. And I had to stop every once in a while because I was breathing really hard and walk for a bit. But...isn't that better for burning fat, anyway? Your heart rate going up and down? So there you go!
My hope is to go for a jog/run every night. For about thirty minutes. No big deal. It goes by fast. And by the end, I feel like I worked out. I feel good.
Shout out to my girl Geraldine for inspiring me! (Unwittingly. But I was thinking about her and how she would just go for a run. Pulled on her baggy sweats, stuck a hoodie on and just ran. Didn't care about what was going on around her, just cared about being healthy.
|She's coming to visit in August! Yay!|