It's coming closer - the beginning of a new chapter in the book of my life.
I start work at Starbucks on Monday. 9 a.m. I'm thrilled. I'm still in disbelief that this is my life. That I'm not going to be stretching thirty dollars a week, and using my parent's money every week. I'm so in awe of the Lord, and still so humbled by His blessings. All I want for this experience is to honor Him and do my best, and not waste what He's given me. I'm not the best at doing all of that, but I really, really just want to do well on my end of this blessing.
Yesterday, I went shopping for uniform gear. I technically HAVE black pants and white blouses, but I wanted to get some new stuff because what I have is...lacking. The most important thing that I needed was leather shoes that fully covered my feet. HARDEST THING TO SHOP FOR, EVER.
I found a white blouse right away, pants were a struggle, until I stumbled upon the Lee part of Sears, and found the pants I was wearing that day, but in black - on sale! I got two pairs.
After that, I walked, and walked, and tried on, and walked, and looked, and tried on shoes upon shoes upon shoes.
Finally. FINALLY. I went into Payless one last time, and there they were - Converse style Airwalks with a label that specifically said LEATHER and a tag with "24/7 comfort insole," and as a bonus "no-slip soles."
When I saw the word Leather, I knew I was going to buy them. I tried them on as a formality, but I was so tired at that point, I just KNEW the search was over.
God is faithful. And I bought myself a cupcake. It was delicious. Then, I went home.
And today, I went bowling! Priscilla came, and we had a great time. Now, I'm going to go eat tacos, because life is good.
March 30, 2013
March 26, 2013
It's nice when...
You feel good about your blessings.
You know how when times are rough, and you have to remind yourself that you're blessed, so that you can force yourself to keep perspective? It's an important thing to do, but man is it nice to know you're blessed and FEEL blessed.
We can't live by feelings, but when there's nice feelings...I can't complain.
I was sitting out on the steps, drinking my second cup of coffee (second time sitting on the steps in the sunshine,) and I thought to myself, "Man. I am hugely blessed."
I just FEEL and SEE the blessings these days, and I am so humbled by them. I really, really am. It's a bunch of simple things, and big things, but I am so, so humbled. I mean, I feel like it's too much. Like, the Lord is going overboard, and needs to let me linger in a rut for a while or something.
I've been home for two weeks - two of them. More has happened in two weeks that is life-changing and thrilling than has happened in two years. Things that I have been waiting for, dreaming of, wishing at 11:11 for for TWO really, really long years are actually happening.
I'm not crazy now, and I wasn't crazy then. I knew in my heart of hearts that things like becoming a barista were going to happen.
The secret to having dreams come true is being willing to let go of your dreams if God asks you to, in the midst of holding on to them.
I have a job. Finally. It's not JUST a job, it's my dream job. I have insurance, AND the same doctor that I had before I lost it a few months ago. I'm going to go to college in the fall. These past two years have been a process of going forward. We're always moving forward by the grace of God, but sometimes we have to go forward through things that we wish we could run away from to get to what we're really anticipating. It's ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
Two years of searching, and crying, and waiting, and being angry, and being on a spiritual decline, and having a few ups, but only being able to focus on the downs, and forcing myself to remind myself that God is trustworthy...it's like...if you've been following me on my blog for any major length of time, you know that it's been a struggle.
And for now, the struggle is over. There will be new challenges, but for now, it's all good. And I'm stunned by the blessings of God. I literally do not feel worthy, and I almost feel really bad to be like, "OMG GUYS MY LIFE IS AWESOME NOW YAYAYAYAY!!!"
But it just is, and it's because God is faithful, even when I haven't been faithful. It's..just incredible. I mean, the week before I left for Arizona, everything that I thought I had going for me collapsed. Literally. Love, life, and what I thought was a pursuit of happiness just crumbled. The week after I got back from Arizona, everything took a turn. (There's not love yet, but that's okay. I'm content. I told Allix today that if the Lord brings man into my life this week, I won't be able to handle it. I'll probably run away.)
Life feels good these days, and I'm embracing it. It's not always going to be nice, but for now, in my day by day walk, things are rainbows and sunshine. And I'm honored that the Lord would bless me like this.
Ta!
You know how when times are rough, and you have to remind yourself that you're blessed, so that you can force yourself to keep perspective? It's an important thing to do, but man is it nice to know you're blessed and FEEL blessed.
We can't live by feelings, but when there's nice feelings...I can't complain.
I was sitting out on the steps, drinking my second cup of coffee (second time sitting on the steps in the sunshine,) and I thought to myself, "Man. I am hugely blessed."
I just FEEL and SEE the blessings these days, and I am so humbled by them. I really, really am. It's a bunch of simple things, and big things, but I am so, so humbled. I mean, I feel like it's too much. Like, the Lord is going overboard, and needs to let me linger in a rut for a while or something.
I've been home for two weeks - two of them. More has happened in two weeks that is life-changing and thrilling than has happened in two years. Things that I have been waiting for, dreaming of, wishing at 11:11 for for TWO really, really long years are actually happening.
I'm not crazy now, and I wasn't crazy then. I knew in my heart of hearts that things like becoming a barista were going to happen.
The secret to having dreams come true is being willing to let go of your dreams if God asks you to, in the midst of holding on to them.
I have a job. Finally. It's not JUST a job, it's my dream job. I have insurance, AND the same doctor that I had before I lost it a few months ago. I'm going to go to college in the fall. These past two years have been a process of going forward. We're always moving forward by the grace of God, but sometimes we have to go forward through things that we wish we could run away from to get to what we're really anticipating. It's ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
Two years of searching, and crying, and waiting, and being angry, and being on a spiritual decline, and having a few ups, but only being able to focus on the downs, and forcing myself to remind myself that God is trustworthy...it's like...if you've been following me on my blog for any major length of time, you know that it's been a struggle.
And for now, the struggle is over. There will be new challenges, but for now, it's all good. And I'm stunned by the blessings of God. I literally do not feel worthy, and I almost feel really bad to be like, "OMG GUYS MY LIFE IS AWESOME NOW YAYAYAYAY!!!"
But it just is, and it's because God is faithful, even when I haven't been faithful. It's..just incredible. I mean, the week before I left for Arizona, everything that I thought I had going for me collapsed. Literally. Love, life, and what I thought was a pursuit of happiness just crumbled. The week after I got back from Arizona, everything took a turn. (There's not love yet, but that's okay. I'm content. I told Allix today that if the Lord brings man into my life this week, I won't be able to handle it. I'll probably run away.)
Life feels good these days, and I'm embracing it. It's not always going to be nice, but for now, in my day by day walk, things are rainbows and sunshine. And I'm honored that the Lord would bless me like this.
Ta!
March 23, 2013
It's a nice life.
I do have to remind myself to not get caught up in what looks and feels like success. Life is nice, and there HAS been a big burst of success but if I get wrapped up in that, and forget that it's a gift from God, it's going to get sour fast.
I'm talking of course, about my JOB AS A BARISTA R;OHF;GKJHSOIHG.
Honestly, proof that there is a God #47676: Me getting this job. The Bible says that God will "give us the desires of our hearts" if we delight in Him. Now, I'm not a Pastor, or a deep student of the Bible. But I think that this is fairly simple. Delighting in God, means delighting in anything from Him, and about Him. It means reading His Word, but it also means being willing and fully open to the possibility of Him asking you to give up whatever you want most. You delight in Jesus - it might be hard, or even extremely hard to give up the possibility of doing what you love, or receiving what you think you truly desire, but God knows what will please us the most.
He knows us better than we know ourselves. I know for myself, what I prayed frequently concerning my career in coffee was "Lord, this is my desire, but if it's not YOUR desire for me, then make Your desire my desire. But it really would be great if coffee was in my future." But my heart wanted what He wanted for me. I was fully prepared, and even expecting to not get hired this week. I was expecting at the very best, the "promise" of a phone call.
I mean, there is something supernatural about the feeling that comes when the Lord gives you a desire of your heart. I went into that interview simply trusting Him, and the only hopes that were raised were that His will would be done in my life. My expectation of one final rejection. When that didn't happen, and the manager said that she wanted to offer me the job, I felt such a swell of joy and excitement inside me. It was like standing outside the door of someone's house. You've rung the bell, knocked a few times, and decided to just wait. You know they've heard the knocks and the doorbell, so you wait. Maybe it gets cold, maybe your legs get tired, so you sit a while, but you wait. And when the door opens, it's like...this unebelievable experience.
When she offered me the job, it was like seeing a door that I had been waiting outside of for so long just open so wide, and someone on the other side was beckoning me in.
Really thrilling. I'm so honored, and humbled, honestly. I mean, yeah, in the reality picture, it's just a job, and it's not going to be perfect, but for me, it's not just a job. It's a journey that I have been itching to take for so long. My mom reminded me that I've actually wanted to work at Starbucks since I was 15 years old. I just didn't have the chance to pursue it until I got home from college. 7 years. Seven years for something that I thought was cool to turn into a sincere passion (that is, let's be honest, pretty dang cool.)
Delight in Jesus. His desires will be your desires, if you let Him fulfill His will for your life. Don't aggressively pursue what you don't love. In work, in relationships, even...it just makes things harder, and it keeps you from what's perfect for you. Waiting, and trusting God, and letting Him provide and fulfill your needs day to day is the fastest way to receive your heart's desires.
I don't remember if this is what I originally wanted to blog about, but hey. So it goes.
I'm talking of course, about my JOB AS A BARISTA R;OHF;GKJHSOIHG.
Honestly, proof that there is a God #47676: Me getting this job. The Bible says that God will "give us the desires of our hearts" if we delight in Him. Now, I'm not a Pastor, or a deep student of the Bible. But I think that this is fairly simple. Delighting in God, means delighting in anything from Him, and about Him. It means reading His Word, but it also means being willing and fully open to the possibility of Him asking you to give up whatever you want most. You delight in Jesus - it might be hard, or even extremely hard to give up the possibility of doing what you love, or receiving what you think you truly desire, but God knows what will please us the most.
He knows us better than we know ourselves. I know for myself, what I prayed frequently concerning my career in coffee was "Lord, this is my desire, but if it's not YOUR desire for me, then make Your desire my desire. But it really would be great if coffee was in my future." But my heart wanted what He wanted for me. I was fully prepared, and even expecting to not get hired this week. I was expecting at the very best, the "promise" of a phone call.
I mean, there is something supernatural about the feeling that comes when the Lord gives you a desire of your heart. I went into that interview simply trusting Him, and the only hopes that were raised were that His will would be done in my life. My expectation of one final rejection. When that didn't happen, and the manager said that she wanted to offer me the job, I felt such a swell of joy and excitement inside me. It was like standing outside the door of someone's house. You've rung the bell, knocked a few times, and decided to just wait. You know they've heard the knocks and the doorbell, so you wait. Maybe it gets cold, maybe your legs get tired, so you sit a while, but you wait. And when the door opens, it's like...this unebelievable experience.
When she offered me the job, it was like seeing a door that I had been waiting outside of for so long just open so wide, and someone on the other side was beckoning me in.
Really thrilling. I'm so honored, and humbled, honestly. I mean, yeah, in the reality picture, it's just a job, and it's not going to be perfect, but for me, it's not just a job. It's a journey that I have been itching to take for so long. My mom reminded me that I've actually wanted to work at Starbucks since I was 15 years old. I just didn't have the chance to pursue it until I got home from college. 7 years. Seven years for something that I thought was cool to turn into a sincere passion (that is, let's be honest, pretty dang cool.)
Delight in Jesus. His desires will be your desires, if you let Him fulfill His will for your life. Don't aggressively pursue what you don't love. In work, in relationships, even...it just makes things harder, and it keeps you from what's perfect for you. Waiting, and trusting God, and letting Him provide and fulfill your needs day to day is the fastest way to receive your heart's desires.
I don't remember if this is what I originally wanted to blog about, but hey. So it goes.
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